Weekend Cinema Listomania (Special Femme Fatale Edition)
posted May 9, 2008 7:34 AM
On May 22, Harrison Ford returns as the iconic titular hero in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the fourth installment in Steven Spielberg's ongoing homage to the cliffhanger serials of the 30s and 40s. Fans may argue about whether Ford has gotten a little too protracted in the molar to embody the swashbuckling Indy, but frankly, I don't care. I'm going to see it for Cate Blanchett, in a jet black wig, playing a slinky Commie bitch Soviet agent.
Seriously -- from what I can tell from the trailer, she's even sexier than she was last year as a skinny, androgynous speedfreak Bob Dylan in I'm Not There. Although perhaps I've already said too much...
In any case, the weekend is upon us and as usual things will be quiet around here until Monday. So while we wait, here's another little project to tide us all over --
Hottest Villainess, in a Genre Film or Generally!!!
Okay, here's my totally top of my head Top Five:
5. Gale Sondergaard -- The Spider Woman (1944)
One of the best of the Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes flicks, due more than a little to Sondergaard's elegant and slightly disturbing sensuality. Sondergaard, in high glamor-puss makeup and costume, actually tested for the role of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz; she didn't get the part, obviously, but in losing it she may have inadvertently spared several generations of kids their first encounter with the concept of wicked as sexy.
4. Myrna Loy -- The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932)
Believe it or not, at this point in her pre-Thin Man career, Loy was pretty much typecast as a wily Oriental temptress. Here, as Fu's daughter, she scratches her six-inch-nails across the bare chest of slab-of-beef hero Charles Starrett, and then tells Boris Karloff "He's very attractive, isn't he, father...for a white man?"
3. Barbara Steele -- Black Sunday (1960)
The indisputed scream queen of Italian gothic horror films, here at her absolute sexiest as an undead witch. Somebody once said of Steele "She's the only woman who ever lived who can snarl with her eyebrows."
2. Dyanne Thorne -- Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (1974)
Uh...perhaps I've already said too much. Again.
And the number one, no question about it, who are we kidding it's not even a contest, is --
1. The Queen -- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
I don't care if she is a cartoon -- she's still a babe.
Alrighty -- who would your choices be?
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Steve Simels has written about music and movies for Sound and Vision magazine (formerly Stereo Review) since the early 70s. He has also contributed to Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide and the Wall Street Journal. He’s the author of “Gender Chameleons: Androgyny in Rock n Roll” (Arbor House, 1985), and blogs at PowerPop.blogspot.com. His ambition in life is to play the Leslie Howard role in a remake of “Petrified Forest.”

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Brooklyn Girl said:
Walter, if you're out there, this one's for you:
Barbara Stanwyck in "Double Indemnity".
Fred MacMurray didn't stand a chance.
May 9, 2008 7:51 AM
WalterNeff said:
Do I laugh now, or wait 'til it gets funny?
May 9, 2008 9:04 AM
Who Am Us Anyway said:
Jennifer Connelly as Allison Pond in the much-panned but I liked it Mulholland Falls (not to be confused with Lynch’s Mulholland Drive).
May 9, 2008 10:16 AM
Polly Wannacracker said:
I hesitate to nominate Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct" because I hated the movie, but still ...
May 9, 2008 10:32 AM
~*Neon Serpent*~ said:
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) in Goldeneye (1995). Yeah, yeah, it's a Bond film, but c'mon!
May 9, 2008 11:13 AM
Cliff Hendroval said:
Rebecca Romijn as Mystique in the X-Men movies wasn't too hard to look at...
May 9, 2008 5:07 PM
philthy Phil said:
It has been awhile since I've seen the movie, but don't femme fatales Neve Campbell and Denise Richards meet all the criteria in Wild Things.
May 9, 2008 5:42 PM
Steve Simels said:
Un, I got that Myrna Loy quote just a tad wrong.
The actual, exchange, via IMDB:
Loy: He is not entirely unhandsome, is he, my father?
Karloff: For a white man, no.
I regret the error....
May 9, 2008 7:00 PM
Steve Simels said:
It has been awhile since I've seen the movie, but don't femme fatales Neve Campbell and Denise Richards meet all the criteria in Wild Things.
So do Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in "Bound" ...
May 9, 2008 7:52 PM
philthy Phil said:
Touche!
May 10, 2008 3:42 PM
trifecta said:
Theresa Russell in Black Widow?
May 11, 2008 11:31 AM
Toonscribe said:
Lucianna Paluzzi, the red-haired villainess in Thunderball, is my fave.
May 11, 2008 11:32 AM
David Derbes said:
Surely Margaret Hamilton must get an Honorable Mention?
Anyone who commands a battalion of flying monkeys, and who isn't a Republican talk show host, deserves some credit.
May 11, 2008 11:33 AM
Xan said:
Can't think of her name but the female lead in Gettysburg.
(Civil War geek joke. There were no women in Gettysburg. Posted in memory of Darryl Pierce, rip.)
May 11, 2008 11:33 AM
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said:
Hottests Villainessistas, generally?
Kitty Harris, in Steal This Election!
~
May 11, 2008 11:34 AM
leibniz said:
Pickett's labia?
May 11, 2008 11:40 AM
Toonscribe said:
I just remembered -- and how could I have forgotten -- the young Kathleen Turner in Body Heat.
May 11, 2008 11:40 AM
Hecate, Runnymeade Conspirator said:
Malificent. Hands down.
May 11, 2008 11:42 AM
Mike said:
Another vote for Stanwyck, for The Strange Love Of Martha Ivers.
And I gotta mention Gene Tierney (and her dead-sexy overbite) as the most evil film character ever in Leave Her To Heaven.
Lastly, am I the only one that sees something a little hot about Mrs. Danvers in Rebecca?
May 11, 2008 11:57 AM
Mrs. Peel said:
Well, I suppose most people would consider Scarlett O'Hara a heroine, not a villainess, although a lot of her behavior was cruel, manipulative and selfish ... but Vivien Leigh was utterly brilliant, which becomes even more obvious when you watch the screen tests of Lana Turner and Paulette Goddard ... yikes!
May 11, 2008 4:00 PM