DVD Event of the Week: Is it the Criterion Collection edition of Paul Schrader's Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)? Is it Lionsgate's release of the complete first season of Mad Men, Matthew Weiner's acclaimed AMC series about martini-swilling ad execs of the early 60s? Could be, could be, but since neither of those showed up for review at Casa Simels, I really couldn't say. Which means that my vote goes to something on (presumably) a slightly less rarified esthetic level which did -- the first ever DVD release of Framed, a quite astonishing late (1974) film-noir directed by prolific genre auteur Phil Karlson and starring definitive 70s beer-stained slob tough guy anti-hero Joe Don Baker.

From Legend's synopsis:

From the makers of Walking Tall comes the ultimate story of revenge. Joe Don Baker plays a gambler who is framed for a crime he did not commit. A corrupt legal system leads him into a plea bargain and four years behind bars. By the time he gets out of prison, he's determined to put together the pieces of his frame-up and dole out the justice he was denied to those responsible. Framed comes out swinging with two-fisted action that will have you cheering as some of cinema's most loathsome villains get what's coming to them.

That pretty much sums it up, and we can only add that Baker's (still) startlingly violent revenge is served up with the help of Gabe Dell, one of the original Bowery Boys, that Legend's widescreen transfer is razor sharp, and that the unkempt star -- then only a year away from his career defining turn in Mitchell (memorably skewered on a classic Mystery Science Theater 3000) -- delivers the great noir line “Somebody I don’t know took everything I had away from me...and I’m going to make him pay. Double.” with such panache that you're going to need to order the DVD immediately.

That said, and because (a) it's a holiday weekend and will thus be relatively quiet around here, and (b) the idea of putting up a July 4th-inspired Listomania makes me want to hurl, here instead is a far more relevant little project for you all:

Best Revenge-Themed Movie Ever!!!

And my totally top of my head Top Five is:

5. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Nicholas Meyer, 1982)
"Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?... It is very cold in space!"

4. The Visit (Bernhard Wicki, 1964)
Fabulously wealthy Ingrid Bergman returns to the decaying town where Anthony Quinn once knocked her up with a deal for the remaining residents -- kill Quinn and she'll give them all tons of money.

3. Carrie (Brian DePalma, 1976)
Sissie Spacek sticks it to the kewl kids in the ultimate high school revenge fantasy (one of the earliest Stephen King adaptations). Trivia note: Nancy Allen gives John Travolta his first screen blowjob.

2. Winchester '73 (Anthony Mann, 1950)
A genuinely scary Jimmy Stewart chases the titular rifle and the no-goodnik who killed his father in the first of his image-changing collaborations with director Mann.

And the number one revenge-themed film, it's not even close so gimme a break already, obviously is --

1. Revenge of the Creature (Jack Arnold, 1955)
Animal psychologist John Agar shleps the titular creature from his Black Lagoon to a Florida Sea World knock-off. Pissed off creature runs riot. Hilarity ensues. In 3D in selected theaters.

Awrighty now -- what would your choices be?