Weekend Cinema Listomania (Special Youth is Wasted on the Young Edition)
posted August 7, 2009 4:32 AM
Video Event of the Week: Is it Sony's new double disc sets of 30s classics from the Columbia vaults, Icons of Screwball Comedy, Vols. I and II? Could the Criterion Collection's director approved version of the uber-Goyische Whit Stillman's The Last Days of Disco actually make the cut? Or, against the odds could Disney's Race to Witch Mountain, the kids sci-fi starring The Actor Formerly Known as The Rock, conceivably be The One?
All worthy, to be sure, and I'm definitely going to write about the Stillman (featuring the young Kate Beckinsale -- woo hoo!) next week, but for my money it's got to be New Line's DVD edition of the impeccably waxed eyebrows that are teen heartthrob Zac Efron in 17 Again.
Which is not to say this is some kind of imperishable cinematic art. It's a genre film, obviously, but in a genre I hadn't really recognized as such until just now -- A (Second?) Chance to Learn an Important Life Lesson via Supernatural Deus Ex Machina/Body Switch film, in the great tradition of both Freaky Fridays, Heaven Can Wait and Tom Hanks in Big. Not to mention some related left field flicks like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man and -- my personal favorite -- the 1985 Just One of the Boys. You may not recall that one, but it featured former Springsteen girlfriend Joyce Hyser as a college journalist who poses as a boy (to write a story on high school mores) and gets away with it despite having, as they say, a balcony you could do Shakespeare off of.
In any case, the set-up of 17 Again (in case the title isn't clear enough) is simple: An 80s teen with a bright future (Efron) gets trapped into a loveless marriage and grows up to be a disillusioned prematurely middle-aged burnout (Matthew Perry). Fortunately(?) for him, on a trip to his old high school, he encounters a magic janitor (Brian Doyle-Murray) who transforms him back into a teenager, thus giving him the chance to re-live his life and get it all right this time. Wacky complications ensue, the aforementioned valuable lessons are learned, and blah blah blah.
Here's the trailer to give you a little taste.
Okay, as I said, none of it is terribly original, but I'd be lying if I said the formula doesn't work and there weren't laughs to be had. As for Efron, he's a reasonably deft comedian and let's just say that the jury's still out on whether he'll be a convincing adult leading man down the road. As for the DVD, New Line's transfer is sharp as a tack; you have the choice of watching the thing in either widescreen or full-screen -- not sure why Efron's demographic would need that option, but whatever -- and the surround mix is surprisingly effective (for those who care).
I should also add that I am upping my assessment of this a couple of points for three reasons. 1) Matthew Perry as the adult Efron is the most hilariously unbelievable casting since George Lucas tried to convince us that Ewan McGregor was going to grow up to be Sir Alec Guiness; 2) the lovely Melora Hardin, who plays the newly pubescent Efron's high school principal, starred in one of the two competing Lambada movies back in 1990 and is thus deserving of respect from mere mortals; and 3) 17 Again's auteur Burr Steers has the coolest nom de cinema in history, with the possible exception of Savage Steve Holland.
In any case, you can -- and on balance, probably should -- pre-order 17 Again here.

Which leads me (since things are going to be relatively quiet around here until Monday) inexorably to a fun and obviously relevant project for us all to contemplate --
Best or Worst Screen Performance By a Teen Idol of Any Age!!!
And just to clarify, this can include performances by said teen idol when they're long past teen status.
And my totally top of my head Top Five is:
5. Troy Donahue in My Blood Runs Cold (William Conrad, 1965)

The usually vapid heartthrob as a drifter (who may or may not be a serial killer) who gets involved with heiress Joey Heatherton, a groovy 60s chick he claims was his lover in a previous life. An interestingly lurid shocker, somewhat envelope-pushing for its day, with a surprisingly credible Donahue. And yes, the director is THAT William Conrad.
4. Ricky Nelson in Rio Bravo (Howard Hawks, 1959)
Director Hawks throws the teenaged Nelson into a classic western set-up in the company of a heavyweight bunch of canny scene-stealers (Walter Brennan, Dean Martin) and iconic pros (John Wayne). And guess what -- the kid more than holds his own.
3. The Dave Clark 5 in Having a Wild Weekend (John Boorman, 1965)
Perhaps the most artful of the Swinging London flicks (and that includes A Hard Day's Night) and certainly the most downbeat. Fortunately, the guys in the DC5 (leader Clark in particular) manage just the right note of slightly bemused existential angst. And yes, the director is THAT John Boorman (making his feature debut).
2. Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997)
One of the great ensemble pieces of the 90s, obviously, and I think we can all agree that former Funky Bunch hottie and underwear model Marky Mark gives a, you should pardon the expression, standout performance as a guy with an extremely large personality.
And the numero uno star turn by an idol of idle youth, it's not even remotely a contest so just STFU for heaven's sakes, obviously is --
1. Soupy Sales in Birds Do It (Andrew Marton, 1966)

Soupy was 40 when he made this movie, but just the year before, with his great "The Mouse" in the Top Ten, he had headlined an Easter Week set of rock shows at New York's Paramount Theater and garnered Beatlemania level teen screams. Granted, the movie itself isn't very good -- typical period nonense about a NASA janitor who inadvertently becomes part of an experiment that gives him the ability to fly and makes him "the most attractive man" on earth. But hey -- Soupy is Soupy.
Alright then -- what would your choices be?
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Steve Simels has written about music and movies for Sound and Vision magazine (formerly Stereo Review) since the early 70s. He has also contributed to Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide and the Wall Street Journal. He’s the author of “Gender Chameleons: Androgyny in Rock n Roll” (Arbor House, 1985), and blogs at PowerPop.blogspot.com. His ambition in life is to play the Leslie Howard role in a remake of “Petrified Forest.”

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ninotchka said:
what no women??
how dare you -
something is wrong with your libido if you cannot find a place for ann-margret -carnal knowledge- bye bye birdie-kitten with a whip
too many to name
the good- bobby darin- dr. neuman m.d
the barf bag award- john travolta-staying alive
August 7, 2009 5:54 AM
Steve Simels said:
Hey -- at least I had the good taste not to include either of the two Coreys.
:-)
August 7, 2009 6:11 AM
Gummo said:
We have a great fondness in our household for grade B 1960s teen stars -- esp. Tommy Kirk, John Ashley and Arch Hall, Jr.
Kirk reached his nadir in a 1968 Larry Buchanan horror flick called It's Alive (not the 1980 horror flick of the same name) in which he's puffy, high and really not very good. Then again, neither is the movie.
Ashley, on the other hand, did some fine journeyman work in the Disney beach movies as a second banana, but my favorite of his is another Buchanan, The Eye Creatures. He also did a series of Filipino horror films in the late 60s/early 70s that are a lot of fun. And yes, that's John Ashley doing the opening narration over the credits of The A Team!
Arch Hall, Jr., made six movies, 4 of which were fun-awful, 1 of which was awful, and 1 of which is a minor masterpiece: 1963's The Sadist. Check it out, it's genuinely creepy and Hall's actually very good.
August 7, 2009 6:13 AM
Integral Lit - aka Leslie said:
Nice reminder of some fun films - my 16 YO daughter loves Zach - me, not so much!
And thanks for the reminder of "Boogie Nights." Loved it when I saw it, and now I have to see it again. Mark Wahlberg was great in this and has developed into a very good actor, IMO.
August 7, 2009 6:39 AM
Trey said:
What about Glen Campbell in True Grit? OK, he is not exactly a teen heart throb, but that was the most amazingly bad acting committed to the screen.
Trey
August 7, 2009 6:40 AM
Steve Simels said:
John Ashley does the A-Team narration?
Words fail me...
August 7, 2009 7:05 AM
Gummo said:
steve --
He produced the show.
His Phillipines phase was dedicated to learning the business behind the camera, which he learned very well, and went to a very successful career as a producer. I just IMDB'd him and he was associate producer on Apocalypse Now.
Seems Ashley was a very canny guy, who realized his days as a teen heart throb was numbered, and repositioned himself accordingly.
August 7, 2009 7:20 AM
Mrs. Peel said:
Mick Jagger in "Performance."
August 7, 2009 7:27 AM
Meander said:
former Springsteen girlfriend Joyce Hyser
I did not know that they dated. And he is more awesome than ever now.
Major ups to Ms Hyser, too,
~
August 7, 2009 10:52 AM
Culture of Truth said:
Surely this list deserves some kind of shout-out to John Hughes, teen idol auteur extraordinaire.
August 7, 2009 9:07 PM
Steve Simels said:
Alas, this was written and posted before I learned of Hughes death.
August 8, 2009 6:12 AM
Brooklyn Girl said:
I think this falls into the category:
Tina Turner, Ann-Margret, Roger Daltry, and everyone associated with Ken Russell's "Tommy" -- one of the (literally) messiest movies of all time, in every respect.
Yes, Tina as The Acid Queen was a stroke of genius, but the rest of it was laughably awful.
August 8, 2009 7:33 AM
Brooklyn Girl said:
And speaking of Ken Russell's wretched excesses, how can we forget this?
Depicting the flamboyant Liszt as the first classical pop star, Lisztomania features contemporary rock star Roger Daltrey (of The Who) as Franz Liszt. The film was released the same year as Tommy, which also starred Daltrey and was directed by Russell.
Rick Wakeman, from the progressive rock band Yes, composed the Lisztomania soundtrack, which included synthesizer arrangements of works by Liszt and Wagner. He also appears in the movie as the Nordic god of thunder, Thor. Daltrey and Russell wrote the lyrics for the soundtrack, and Daltrey provided vocals.
Of the other rock celebrities appearing in the movie, Ringo Starr, drummer of The Beatles, appears as the Pope.
August 8, 2009 7:50 AM
Gummo said:
Of the other rock celebrities appearing in the movie, Ringo Starr, drummer of The Beatles, appears as the Pope.
Words fail me. :)
I recently saw the original trailer for the movie "Candy." Another misbegotten attempt at hipness with a ridiculous cast -- Ringo again, Brando as the guru (!), John Astin, Walter Matthau, and lots of cameos.
I have to see that one of these days.
August 8, 2009 8:18 AM
dSmith said:
Bobby Sherman and Fabian as the villain's henchmen in "Get Crazy"
Also featuring Lou Reed and Malcolm Mcdowell. If you've never seen it, you must.
August 8, 2009 3:57 PM
Who Am Us Anyway said:
This might be the first time I ever wished I’d watched an Elvis movie – because if I had, then I go opine about one now. Hmmm … actually, now that I mention it, I wonder if any of Elvis’s godzillion pictures are any good?
Meanwhile, stretching the teen idol restriction to its breaking point, you’ve got quite passably 19th century characters in both Jack White (Cold Mountain) and Jewel Kilcher (Ride With the Devil).
August 8, 2009 8:08 PM
Gwen De Marco said:
The original Teen Idol, Frank Sinatra, in "From Here to Eternity" ... his Oscar-winning performance. He was well past teen idoldom by then, of course ...
August 9, 2009 8:21 AM