Day Zero. Pink puke on the street, eyes red probably from some weed. Nice rhyme to start off a report on a filmfest, isn't it? Unconventional intro to an unconventional festival.

Well they're just part of my sightings during a trip back home after a night's opening chat and screening in Budapest's Art Cinema, where Filmklik.hu and Budapestfilm held the first and last official event of European Film Month. No, not a misspelling. First newsflash for you! The festival has a new name, since it is all through December, it makes sense I guess.

What were they thinking? A Video on Demand Film Festival? Let's celebrate movie-going with staying home and choosing the films you'd like to watch from the Internet? All this discussed with an ensemble of filmmakers that celebrate celluloid as one, and even the youngest of them (around 30) was a bit uneasy when it's about digital media. You know, the nasty zeros and ones, or is it ones and twos? Writer/director Kornel Mundruczo (Lost and Found, Johanna) hesitated there for a second.

Anyway, what they discussed is too much to recall in one sitting. I'll drip the wisdom in small drops throughout the month, don't worry! So let's just get the story flowing.

Arrived a bit early on the night of the 30th of November to the Art Cinema in Budapest. Alone but not on my own. All these strangers, a few familiars. From the TV, you know, nothing personal. Not quite sure who they all are, but they don't seem to be bothered, they have their inner circle. A „tourist” like me, just like Maggie from tonight's Irina Palm can find it difficult getting in the circle.

About the flick: I have no clue why they choose this one for the opening. Perhaps because it has Dorka Gryllus, a talented Hungarian actress in it. She plays a handjob instructor.

That's right. A sperm-drenched crown of tonight was Irina Palm, a British-French little picture about a fifty-something granny from a really small English village going down filth-lane as a handjob performer or „wanker” in an adult bar on the Soho. Why? To save her little grandson from an undeclared fatal illness, of course!

She decides after short hesitation and a few slaps in the face from society, that she will earn the cash needed for the trip to Melbourne and the hospital bills as an adult worker going under the stage name Irina Palm. A name given to her by Mr. Miklos the bar owner, after he discovers her talent.

This bittersweet, hardcore Full Monty also taught me a new concept: penis elbow. Guess how you get one. A whimsical, but funny opening flick.

I'll go now and will put some creme on my hands. No, not to de-throne the „best right hand in London”, it's just they're cracked dry from the chilly winds of the Budapest night.

See you on Wednesday with hopefully a double feature!