Babylon makes for a futuristic mess

Practically disowned by both its studio and energetic European director, Babylon A.D. is a huge mess of a film that has many ideas behind it, but finds only poor ways to execute them. More action than science fiction, this story of a dangerous transport from Russia to New York City is extremely incoherent, raising more questions than it answers. Advance buzz on Babylon A.D. has been minimal for good reason, and however many curious ticket buyers this film might have attracted will most likely be driven away once word of mouth spreads opening weekend.

Set in a futuristic world, the bare-bones story centers on Toorop (Vin Diesel), a mercenary whose only code of conduct is “don’t fuck with me.” Toorop has been put in charge of smuggling Aurora (Melanie Thierry) and her handler Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh) into New York for reasons that are never fully explained. Rebeka also has rules, which including include no foul language and no direct contact with the outside world. In the film’s contradictory nature, Aurora is witness to (among other things) a caged death match, getting drunk and putting the moves on a topless Toorop wearing the smallest of underwear.

The only thing certain in Babylon A.D. is that a transport is taking place. The how and why of the transport, along with the normal strands of governing logic, go out the window immediately. Yet playing by the film’s brainless rules, Babylon A.D. seems to find new ways to be moronic and dull. A submarine shows up to transport rescue our heroes, but within minutes, they’re thrust into a snowmobile chase, which seems to exist for no reason other than to showcase less than tense action closeups and choppy editing. It’s suggested that Aurora is a scientific creation who could either save or destroy mankind, but the payoff is pure camp. As a character, Toorop is like most roles Vin Diesel is used to playing, tough on the outside and empty on the inside. Emotion and drama have never been his strong suit, but he’s given a few scenes to flesh out his inner thespian, anyway, scenes that—in all their awkward glory—simply slow the film down.

The bulk of the blame for Babylon A.D.’s failure lies mostly in its screenplay. Co-written by its director Mathieu Kassovitz, the film is based on the novel Babylon Babies by Maurice G. Dantec, but mostly plays as a blatant rip-off of the far superior novel adaptation Children of Men. Both films put an outsider in charge of transporting human cargo in the name of saving mankind, but the similarities end there. Whereas Children of Men took that premise and created something beautiful, Babylon A.D. bangs its inept head against the wall, hoping that the grating noises will create something, anything. The final product is a loud and expensive question mark.

Distributor: Fox
Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Melanie Thierry, Charlotte Rampling and Gerard Depardieu
Director: Mathieu Kassovitz
Screenwriters: Eric Besnard and Mathieu Kassovitz
Producer: Alain Goldman
Genre: SF/action
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and some sexuality
Runtime: 98 min.
Release date: August 29