Beer For My Horses
posted August 8, 2008 11:04 AM
Toby Keith's slaphappy yukfest will do better on DVD
Oklahoman country singer Toby Keith made his reputation on blunt, nationalist anthems about the past glory and future promise of the U.S. of A.: ditties like “American Soldier” and “Should’ve Been A Cowboy.” “Beer For My Horses,” his 2003 hit duet with Willie Nelson, argued a deadpan solution to modern day corruption: one tall tree and a length of rope, singing “It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground.” Five years later, Keith and stand-up comedian Rodney Carrington have co-written a screenplay that transmogrifies his pro-lynching ballad into a slaphappy yukfest with two instances of pit bull flatulence and one close-up of said pooch licking his package. I groaned at the latter, but it’s still a civilized improvement over the original. Auds who love both but ain’t near screenings during its limited release should send DVD purchases through the barn roof.
Keith plays Rack, a good-time redneck deputy from fictitious Mangum, Okla. Rack is fine at smoothing over domestic trouble—when he bothers after the fun of watching dudes bash up each other’s trucks—but he’s a crap boyfriend whose girlfriend Gina Gershon ditches ASAP after he flakes on her birthday. Gossip gets around quick, and the townsfolk have fun screwing with Rack’s pride by asking him where she went. No matter, Rack has bigger catfish to fry: his old flame Annie (Claire Forlani, a lean, plasticine brunette) just moved back from the big city, and Sheriff Landry (a grab-’em-tight Tom Skerritt) has ordered Rack and his fellow deputies dopey Lonnie (Carrington) and silent-but-deadly Skunk (Ted Nugent!) to stake out a co-op where someone’s stealing fertilizer. (For those of ya’ll not from the meth belt, that’s a key ingredient.)
A humble comedy with a second-tier country star, the Nuge and a cameo by Mister Willie Nelson himself as a traveling circus man shouldn’t have to break a sweat to meet expectations. It doesn’t, though the eye-poppingly bright cinematography by Paul Elliott is as fine as a cold beer in July. Largely though, director Michael Salomon traffics in easy plot points like kidnapped damsels and land-grubbing farm barons (Barry Corbin), paired with casual sexism, copious booze and uncomfortable bigotry. I’m okay with a capitalist villain, but did all the other baddies have to be from south of the border? Despite Keith’s lyrical threats, most of the slayin’ is done, as it should be, by the Nuge, who at one point dolls himself up in war paint, shiny snakeskin and a samurai top knot before strapping on his crossbow for battle.
As a star, Keith has a boneheaded charm; he exacts a tad more respect than Larry the Cable Guy, and as such, the film’s several steps above the horrors of Witless Protection. Still, it’s odd that America’s country champion is content with a film that portrays your average yokel as a flatulent fool. (Imagine if Barack Obama said the same.) If them’s fighting words to Keith’s bourbon-swilling bard, he ain’t putting up a fight here. Though to be fair, my ex, an Oklahoman, was proud to call himself a “Beerbarian” and bragged about his friends who lit their special parts on fire as a party trick—a talent that’d fit in here just fine.
Distributor: Roadside Attractions
Cast: Toby Keith, Rodney Carrington and Ted Nugent
Director: Michael Solomon
Screenwriters: Toby Keith and Rodney Carrington
Producers: Toby Keith and Donald Zuckerman
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG-13 for some violence, sexual humor and dialogue, language, drug content and brief nudity
Running time: 93 min.
Release date: August 8
22 Comments
Leave a comment
Anonymous said:
Mangum, Oklahoma is not fictitious. It really exists. It seems that someone pretending to be an authority on anything would take the time to Google the town. And I'm confused as to who you are referring as a second tier country star? Do you dislike Toby that much?
August 11, 2008 10:37 AM
Witte1 said:
It felt good to go to a movie and laugh out loud. I thought it was very entertaining from start to finish. I will buy it the day it is released on DVD.
August 11, 2008 3:41 PM
a proud Oklahoman said:
How ever wrote this article saying Mangum, OK is fictitous, has never been to Oklahoma or even seen a map. do they think Jackson county is fictitous too. And cutting down Toby as a country star from Oklahoma. Hi five's to Toby
August 11, 2008 11:39 PM
hame Fist said:
This is a terrible movie.
August 15, 2008 12:40 PM
Tuxer said:
Well, Toby Keith is not a "second-tier" country star, and hasn't been for quite some time.
He was indeed a fixture in the "second tier" until about 2001, when "I'm Just Talkin' 'Bout Tonight" hit huge. (It's not patriotic, it's about the delights of casual sex.) That was followed by a long string of number ones. He did not establish his reputation with political songs; it was his reputation as a hit machine that made radio happy to play them despite the sometimes-loaded content.
And "Should've Been a Cowboy" was a fairly early hit about middle-aged discontent. The cowboy thing is a metaphor. (In a country song!)
As others have pointed out, sometimes it's best to do a little research, or just skip the quick characterizations.
(That said, I'm sure you're right that the movie is terrible.)
August 15, 2008 1:22 PM
Sniquerz said:
While sometimes it seems a shame that you can't please all the people all the time, I suppose that is exactly what makes this country interesting. I have not yet seen the movie, but I can not wait, and I will also buy it on DVD even if it is terrible. Who doesn't need a laugh?
.
August 20, 2008 9:48 AM
Austin said:
this movie was great, no box office smash by any means, but i would recommend it. whoever wrote this review didn't do her homework and clearly has something against Toby Keith
August 21, 2008 2:09 PM
Anonymous said:
These clowns who proclaim to be movie critics, are just that, CLOWNS!!
August 21, 2008 3:03 PM
Tator said:
Got nuttin good to say, the please say nuttin :) We went and watched the movie this weekend, very enjoyable. Great acting....uhhh nope!! good laughs Yep!! While I like Toby singing his acting needs some work, but Rodney Carrington is a riot. If you don't like Rodney you can please stear clear of oklahoma. Or as Roy D. Mercer say......someone is gonna get an a** whoopin. Go see the movie.
August 24, 2008 4:58 PM
Cane said:
Wow, Amy has an Ex? You're kidding! How can such a delicate flower be divorced? This movie is pure low brow, stress free, man festive entertainment. Not everything has to rise to the intellectual heights to be good. Toby is funny, Rodney is funny, Ted should be president. If you think any of the cast took themselves seriously while making this movie and were looking for critical acclaim from the likes of you, then you've missed the entire point of it. This is a throw back to simpler times when being politically correct wasn't the first thing you had to measure EVERYTHING against. Get a life Amy.
August 30, 2008 3:17 PM
D.Duke said:
Finally, a good white movie made by white people for good corn-fed god-fearing drunk drivers! I'll buy the VHS the day it is released!
August 31, 2008 9:32 PM
Anonymous said:
im in canada aand its pissing me off because it hasnt been released here
September 6, 2008 5:01 AM
From Oklahoma said:
Where do they get these critics anyway? Fact Checker, Please! I'll bet she's either from either the Atlantic seaboard area (or 150 miles inland) or from the Left Coast (California, Oregon, or Washington). Mangum is one of those towns where the true "West" begins. Your neighbor is probably a Native American or Hispanic and has been so since you where born. When you take a drive in the country; you'll probably see buffalo, whitetail deer, and elk. People will often wave at you as you bye, just because they're friendly. And we love our "weirdos"; you know the old codgers, the wild young "bucks" like in this movie, and the prissy old "maids" - they define our character. Once again, no experience reveals lack of understanding.
September 10, 2008 8:14 PM
Abby said:
Cool Toby and Willie !!!
September 20, 2008 5:22 PM
lyndalee said:
haven't seen it yet-but knowing toby-he would make a movie simply for entertainment and humor as he does with his videos
as usual, when a critic says it's good you can count on it being lousy and vice versa. Toby does nothing bad and we are all tired of being politically correct-let's get back to normal.
October 20, 2008 6:30 AM
Marissa said:
All towns and counties mentioned in the movie are REAL!!! Mangum is a real place, I've been to it many times. Jackson county is real....I LIVE THERE!! So do a little more research next time!
November 2, 2008 5:06 PM
lightstream said:
anyone know how many people watched the premiere?
November 7, 2008 10:48 AM
Terry said:
This chick is obviously a feminazi.
November 20, 2008 6:38 AM
Porter said:
"Toby does nothing bad..."
Like Barack Obama?
December 1, 2008 1:23 AM
Frank Rose said:
Oh yeah, the nice people in the country who smile and wave at you unless you're gay or black. Then they string you up.
December 3, 2008 7:45 PM
Anonymous said:
Yes Mangum is real... unfortunately... I graduated from there and NEVER plan on going back.
January 28, 2009 9:47 AM
Westmoreland said:
Toby Keith is a draft dodger.
April 26, 2009 6:15 PM