Zack and Miri Make a Porno
posted September 10, 2008 11:11 AM
Smith's Porno fails to arouse
While he paved the way in certain respects, it feels as though Kevin Smith is jumping on the Judd Apatow bandwagon in his latest, which stars Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks as best buds and roomies who discover they’re in love after making a blue movie to raise much-needed cash. There’s more yakking than screwing, and the result is flaccid and formulaic enough to remind you how mundane porn flicks are when physical stimulation gets taken out of the equation. That Smith insists on turning an explicit sex farce into a sincere romantic comedy is more deflating than any lack of finesse. The attention-getting title and smutty nature of the proceedings, together with Smith’s reputation and Rogen’s popularity should generate significant action, but the picture’s ultimate sappiness will temper word-of-mouth business.
Much of the semi-cerebral dialogue feels strained and too often Smith falls back on racial and sexual stereotyping. The awkward moments outnumber the genuinely funny bits, which are mostly traceable to Rogen’s likeable persona. Smith needn’t flash his own credentials for championing bearded, slacker shlubs. He can be considered a charter member of the Teddy-Bear-as-Romantic-Lead Club. Still, did Knocked Up, Superbad, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall not make it to Smith’s corner of New Jersey, or did he study them too closely? Either way, the balance between raunchiness and humaneness, so carefully calibrated by the Apatow machine, is out of whack.
The derivativeness starts with that old standby, the high school reunion. It’s a frigid Thanksgiving Eve in the Pittsburgh suburbs and lifelong friends, longtime apartment mates and fellow losers Zack and Miri are unenthusiastically prepping to visit their old stomping grounds. Neither has much to show for the intervening years. He’s a barista at a Bean-N-Gone coffee house franchise owned by a foul-mouthed Indian; and whatever Miri does it’s not lucrative since they struggle to pay the rent and utility bills. She’s bent on hooking up with her school crush Bobby (Brandon Routh), who turns out to be gay and living in L.A. with his porn-star boyfriend (Justin Long). Judging by Long’s excruciating caricature, neither he nor his director have ever met a gay person.
Soon it dawns on Zack and Miri that they can raise funds by shooting and distributing their own adult movie. In the backyard, do-it-yourself vein of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland, they hold auditions and assemble a crew that includes Tracy Lords, Smith regular Jason Mewes and Craig Robinson as Zack’s henpecked African-American co-worker. They take the leading roles themselves and their on-camera coupling opens the feeling floodgates and relationship blather that Smith has telegraphed from the outset.
Although there are a few humorous riffs, the banter never sounds completely authentic—more like a filmmaker venting than two people naturally discovering their romantic compatibility. Maybe the material would be less tiresome if Smith hadn’t appealed the initial NC-17 rating and done the necessary trimming to earn an R. In any case, the basic problem is that the crudity and titillation are in the service of such a conventional story. The ickiest occurrence is Zack and Miri falling for each other. More carnal and emotional sparks fly between Rogen and James Franco in Pineapple Express than Rogen and Banks, though both actors are blameless. The way Smith contrasts Zack and Miri’s domestic situation with Zack’s colleague’s marriage—having a sassy black woman haranguing her husband—seems more demeaning than any of the sex acts or talk.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a summer flick and releasing it in the middle of prestige season is a gamble that could pay off if the demographic doesn’t cotton to more serious-minded competition. Along with the wholesome resolution, one exchange indicates Smith has the welfare of his target audience in mind. Near the end, Mewes’ well-endowed and perpetually horny character solicits a “Dutch Rudder” from Zack, explaining how the procedure allows a guy to help his pal pleasure himself without having to come in contact with his member. It’s a useful piece of information. Safe sex in more ways than one, the “Dutch Rudder” could become a new craze in dorm rooms and frat houses throughout the country.
Distributor: MGM
Cast: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Traci Lords, Jason Mewes, Ricky Mabe, Craig Robinson, Katie Morgan and Jeff Anderson.
Director/Screenwriter: Kevin Smith
Producer: Scott Mosier
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: R on appeal for strong crude sexual content including dialogue, graphic nudity and pervasive language
Running time: 101 min.
Release date: October 31
18 Comments
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WILL said:
Kevin Smith's brother happens to be gay. Maybe a little research before you throw out comments like "neither him nor his director have ever met a gay person." i guess growing up with and spending your entire childhood with a gay man doesnt count? next time he should run any and everything gay-related by you i guess. you being the expert and all.
September 12, 2008 11:52 AM
Josie said:
Unfortunatly, I think this review suffers from 'oh my God it's Kevin Smith, who does he think he is' syndrome. The guy will NEVER get a good review from this type of (poorly researched) reviewer. Whether the film is fantactic or dreadful, the review will have an identical tone. It's just film snobbery.
September 16, 2008 10:37 AM
Jon said:
Besides his brother, one of Kevin's best friends, Malcolm Ingram (Director of "Small Town Gay Bar"), is also gay.
September 17, 2008 3:54 PM
Matt said:
What movie were you watching Mr. McCarthy.? It was not "Zack and Miri" obviously. I saw it at TIFF and is one of the funniest, heartfelt and truly great flicks I've seen in recent memory.
September 20, 2008 1:18 PM
Jammer said:
Does this guy realize that Kevin Smith didn't need to do any trimming to get the R rating?
October 17, 2008 12:03 AM
JimmyB said:
"it feels as though Kevin Smith is jumping on the Judd Apatow bandwagon in his latest"
Smith started writing the script FOR Seth Rogen after seeing 40 Year Old Virgin with the idea that Seth Rogen had the skill to be a lead actor... Not after Rogen started appearing in lead roles.
And are you actually saying you expected to see a porno? Wow...
Does this critic do any research?
October 17, 2008 1:33 PM
John said:
"There’s more yakking than screwing, and the result is flaccid and formulaic enough to remind you how mundane porn flicks are when physical stimulation gets taken out of the equation."
Oh my god. John P. McCarthy is a dirty old man! He totally just went to the theater, with Vaseline in hand, expecting to watch a porn and didn't get it so he is upset about it.
October 19, 2008 7:23 PM
The_Dude said:
First off, the film has to stand on it's own, just like every other film, book or TV show. You can't expect John McCarthy to know that Kevin Smith's brother is gay. It is not his job to research anything about the personal background of the director or any other talent involved.
However, I think you miss the point of the barb. He was saying the Justin Long's performance was over the top and unrealistic.
October 21, 2008 5:33 PM
Elitist film reviewer said:
Hmm, yes both shallow and pedantic. Indeed.
October 24, 2008 1:51 PM
Jon said:
What an absolutely disgusting review. #1 it's just disturbing to think of a 60-year old watching or wanting to watch porn, #2 if you expected a porn movie and you're essentially building your argument against it based on that, that's even more disgusting.
October 27, 2008 7:41 AM
Pootytang said:
Wow, I think the people leaving comments wish they could make a porno with Kevin Smith. They probably fantasize about being raped by Kevin Smith with their pocket protectors.
October 28, 2008 4:04 PM
Smootchy BaBootchie said:
Kevin Smith can do no wrong. He speaks to all of us with little talent, but large bellies.
October 31, 2008 5:57 AM
Bob said:
Jersey girl.... Wrong.
November 1, 2008 10:06 AM
mike said:
jersey girl = underrated. zack and miri = hilarious movie.
November 1, 2008 11:48 PM
For shame said:
Mr McCarthy, are you simply afraid that giving a solidly entertaining movie a complimentary rating will falter the opionions of your fellow yacht club members? Perhaps cause you to endure mockery by one's constituents on the golf course? Maybe you'd be at the receiving end of the seemingly perpetual & condescending gaze at your favorite martini bar. It was a great flick, you suck at your job and didn't do your homework. What you're suffering from is envy. Stop journeying through life upon the coattails of those that are able to construct what you cannot, and subsequently banking on your ill deserved arrogance to critique it.
November 2, 2008 9:28 AM
Anonymous said:
I honestly don't think this reviewer watched the movie. Never once was Zack and Miri's relationship compared or contrasted with that of his coworker and friend. They were two different parts in the same movie. My wife and I both loved the movie and felt that it was on par with the best the summer had to offer (Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, and Step Brothers). This guy was just an idiot.
November 2, 2008 10:36 AM
Joe Kerr said:
God d4mn, how the hell did I find myself on this site. The reviews here are shamefully worse than even those at Aintitcool.
ZaMMaP is way funny stuff. Like, laugh-out-loud stuff. If there's anything you should pay to see, it's something that lets you have a great time with your friends.
Oh. Don't have any friends, John? I see.
Anyway, a tip for your blogging (I don't think it's a high enough batting average to be called "a review") - verbosity hampers argument and style. Stop the flair and try writing a review? (I say this to all reviewers who think word mazes make good reviews.)
November 11, 2008 9:41 PM
Bielsibob Squarepants said:
John P. Mcarthy why don't you go crawl back into the hole you came out of. Seriously did you think you were going to see a porno at the theater? Just do us all a favor and go back to the "adult" theaters you obviously lurk at. At least then you can dutch rudder your fellow man without going to jail.
January 26, 2009 11:13 PM